Was it easy for me to become who I am—and a healer?

When I really look back: no. I don’t think it’s “easy” for anyone. Maybe it isn’t even fully possible in the normal sense—not even for me.

It feels like the path was walked on a silver line—so narrow that one wrong step would’ve ended it. Like I had to be guided every moment, but also act instantly with whatever knowledge and support I could find.

The Apprenticeship

I was learning my whole life. Not a moment wasted. Books. Spirits. Other worlds.

And then the practical grind too: work early in the morning, school in the evening, walking home on foot, sleep, repeat—again and again.

I homeschooled myself in the places most people never question. Sleep—what is it? Dreams—what are they? Can I sleep shorter? Is that good? Is it harmful? Maybe long sleep is sacred.

I tested. I refined. I learned the limits by touching them. Not perfectly—just honestly, and repeatedly.

Same with computers. Same with learning. Same with training my mind to keep going.

Company and Crossing

I was alone for much of my life. But I had a couple of truly good lifelong friends—real ones.

And as I grew older, I had to walk different paths—different worlds. Then I had to walk this world properly too.

Somewhere in that crossing, the accumulated knowledge started changing shape. It stopped being information and began becoming understanding.

When the Mind Went Quiet

Later—after extremely deep meditations—I found connections. In the beginning, I couldn’t even talk much. I couldn’t think loudly.

It was like the mind went quiet on purpose—so it could see what it was seeing.

But the understanding grew every day, little by little, without stopping.

Integration

Then I started applying what I knew: physics, logic, structure— alongside the knowledge that came from experience and perception.

Years later, I found ways to do tiny bits of real work. Then I practiced with others. I brought value to them—to their health, to their families—and that deepened everything again.

The Part That Still Feels Unreal

And then there was the part that still doesn’t fit in ordinary language: I had to “go to the other side” myself—somehow—to gather knowledge I didn’t even know existed.

Knowledge required for healing. And once that happened, everything combined.

I perfected some things. But even more things were unveiled—doors I didn’t know were there. Now I want to go further.

Not Repeatable

I genuinely don’t believe this path can be repeated exactly. Not even by me. Not as a copy. Not as a recipe.

It’s pure magic—every strange alignment, every force that kept me growing, every moment that could’ve gone the other way.

Beginner Again

And now—knowing what I know, and knowing what I don’t know—I feel like a beginner again. I thought I’d be smarter by now, but the truth is: it only gets more complex.

It feels like riding a super-speed motorbike while eating pizza with one hand and navigating an infinite obstacle course. If you stop for a simple thought, you don’t make it. The inertia is strong. There’s no time for hesitation—only vision, sensing, and doing.

It will take time.

For now, everyone is unique. So many variables. Many things are still stronger than I am. But my legs are firmly on the road, and my heart is in place.

So we should be alright.